


Chapped & Faded

by basically_mia



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Hurt Hinata Shouyou, KageHina Week, Karasuno, M/M, Sad, Sad Kageyama Tobio, Third Year Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 09:34:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8322832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basically_mia/pseuds/basically_mia
Summary: What he saw made his heart drop to his feet, and instead of bouncing back up to his throat, it sunk and remained there. It felt like all of his organs were pulled down to his feet, yet he still wanted to vomit.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> This is my first work I've posted on here, which is probably not the best first impression considering it was a total vent piece and I'm pretty sure there's some mild editing I need to do, but I've not posted this anywhere else. Maybe I'll post it on my Tumblr, but I'm not sure.
> 
> Nonetheless, I hope it isn't too bad. 
> 
> This is inspired by the song called Cancer covered recently by Twenty One Pilots.   
> Original artists: My Chemical Romance.

Tobio’s face drained of the warm colour that was present on his cheeks from volleyball practice, his breathing just beginning to steady, but that was long gone after the news that was just given to him. 

Everything around him channeled out, his hearing becoming foggy and his sight becoming clouded. He couldn’t hear anything but the erratic beat of his own heart as it pumped right up in his ears. His jaw hung open as his chest began heaving up and down again, tears clouding at his eyes and threatening to spill as it felt like his entire universe had suddenly collapsed around him, crumbling like rock off a dirt mountain.

“H-He's in the Miyagi public hospital—“ Hinata’s mother tried to speak through the tears that rolled down her cheeks and curled under her chin to fall to the cold ground. “I-I thought y-you should know, K-Kageyama—” she cried out, almost as if she was in physical pain as she grasped the small hand of little Natsu beside her. The little girl looked worryingly up at her mother, unsure and too young to understand why she was crying, but it made her want to cry, too. Her bottom lip trembled as she watched the tears of her mother curve around her cheeks. 

Tobio said nothing to the devastated woman and the small toddler as he tried to close his hung open jaw, but it was no use. His lips and tongue began to dry because of the cool surrounding air, and the twisted feeling in his stomach made him want to throw up.

Kageyama took a slow step to the right of the woman, taking a few more slow steps as he walked past her. As he walked, he slipped the strap of his bag down his arm as it crashed to the floor, his laptop making a loud noise when it hit the concrete ground. He slowly picked up his walking speed, completely taking off out of school grounds. He bolted past Daichi, Sugawara and Tanaka. They yelled for him, but he couldn’t hear anything except the sound of his panting and the heavy beat of his heart, the blood in his body pulsing through his ears. It felt like everything was in slow motion.

“Kageyama!”

The yelling was just an extremely faint blur of muddled up sounds to him, and he refused to turn around to acknowledge them in any way.

He ran as fast as his body would carry him, his hot breath coming out in visible puffs in front of him as he sped through the streets and dodged cars on the road. He weaved his way around the civilians walking on the sidewalks, running across roads as cars pulled their breaks as quick as they could, a screeching sound emitting from the tires violently as they tried not to hit the young male who took no care to the vehicles. 

He ran, his legs barely able to carry him as they buckled underneath him. He almost tripped over a bump in the sidewalk, but he wouldn’t let himself fall over and waste the little time he had to run to the hospital. His heart was about to come straight out of his mouth.

After minutes of running, he approached the hospital doors. Thunder bellowed from the dark sky as it suddenly began to rain.

He reached the mat where the sliding door sensors were. They opened slowly, but Kageyama still tried to barge through them, falling through the crack as soon as there was enough space for him to squeeze through. He buckled over and tripped over his own feet, but he kept his balance as he propped his weight up onto the front desk, at complete loss for breath.

“S-Shouyou Hinata’s r-room?” He heaved out, the tears heavily threatening to spill. Everything around him was still blurry, and he could barely see the receptionist’s face.

“What are you to him—“

“What’s his room number!?” Kageyama’s voice thundered throughout the quiet room as he bared his teeth in anger and devastation. Everyone turned their head toward him, but that was the absolute least of his worries.

The woman jumped back at the sudden loud noise. “Floor 2, room 2C.” She muttered beneath her breath, genuinely scared of the heaving and tall male.

He pushed himself away from the counter, running toward the stairs in the corner of the room behind the main wall, knowing that the elevator was going to take far too long. He had to reach him.

He clambered up the stairs, reading the second floor in a matter of seconds as he turned the corner, his sneakers slipping on the floor slightly as he caught himself with his hands, searching for room 2C down the seemingly endless hall.

Kageyama abruptly ran past a mobile hospital bed. Doctors and nurses were hovering around it, screaming for immediate medical attention as the nurses ran in different directions, desperately in search for a surgeon. As he ran past the clatter of people, everything slowed down when he saw that the person lying on the bed had the thin sheet resting over their head, covering their entire being. He slowed down and came to a slow stop, turning his head over his shoulder as they quickly passed him. He watched the stretcher as it eventually went out of view and around the corner, and he could only pray it wasn’t Hinata under that sheet. 

He turned his head back around, a single tear rolling down his cheek as he kept his head down, clenching his eyes shut, or maybe it was a sweat droplet. He couldn’t tell anymore.

He watched as the door plates and names passed.

1G, 2A, 2B, 2C, Shouyou Hinata.

He stopped, turning to face the grey door of the private room. He held his hand out, watching it as it shook, his slender fingers twitching ever so slightly. His breathing was far from ever slowing down. He attempted to steady it, but it ultimately came to failure.

He wrapped his fingers around the door handle, pushing it down and then slowly opening it. 

What he saw made his heart drop to his feet, and instead of bouncing back up to his throat, it sunk and remained there. It felt like all of his organs were pulled down to his feet, yet he still wanted to vomit. 

His best friend, his partner, laying on the hospital bed, an oxygen mask strapped around his face. His arms lay weak and thin at his sides, the vibrant orange that his hair usually possessed had dulled and faded drastically, leaving a smokey colour in its remains.

Kageyama couldn’t breathe as he stilled in the door frame, a foul taste brutally attacking his mouth as he watched the usually ecstatic boy lay weak in the bed. 

He finally got his legs to move as he slowly approached the cold cot, the faint beeping of the heart-monitor alerting Tobio that he was, in fact, alive. Without it, he would’ve thought the lifeless body in this rock-hard bed was deceased. He only saw the shallow rise and fall of Shouyou’s chest as he got as close as he possibly could. 

His lips were parted slightly, and that’s when Kageyama noticed that his lips were grey, and his face was extremely pale. He looked like a living skeleton, his skin sickly looking. He had no colour anymore, no life. He was almost dead, and he looked ice cold. Kageyama raised his hand just as he did when he had to open the door, trembling and twitching. He used the side of his pinky finger and palm to push the faded hair away from Hinata’s forehead, placing his hand flat against the skin. It was burning hot, and it was damp. Kageyama just realised that Hinata was sweating, and no matter how shallow his breathing was, he was unconsciously panting. He was burning up.

Tears rolled down Kageyama’s cheeks, but he didn’t even have the energy to sob. He had no idea what illness could be this drastic where you physically look ice cold but are practically steaming with heat. It made him want to scream, but he had no energy. 

With every breath the smaller boy took, the oxygen mask fogged up very briefly before clearing again. Kageyama watched his chest barely rise and fall. He looked like he had gotten thinner, too. He hated himself for not noticing. Was this happening mere days ago? When did this happen?

One thing that Kageyama knew was that he couldn’t let Hinata die before the boy knew how he truly felt about him.

Without thinking, he bent down slowly and pressed his lips against Shouyou’s forehead, closing his eyes and leaving them there for a few seconds, his lips tingling at the practically flaming hot skin. When he pulled away, the faint noise of the kiss was the only sound aside from the low beeping monitor. He pulled his large hand that blanketed Hinata’s forehead completely as he watched the boy expectantly with tear-stained cheeks. 

He somehow expected Hinata to wake up after the kiss. He didn’t. 

He just wanted Hinata to wake up. He just wanted Hinata to be cured with his gesture that he’s wanted to give since their first year. Hinata didn’t wake up.

Kageyama’s body finally shut down, and he fell to his knees, rubbing his face with his large hands as his mouth fell open in a broken sob. Tears streamed down his face this time, and he completely shattered. The pain of this was far too great for him to handle, so he just cried. Tobio never cries in front of anyone. Did this even count as crying in front of anyone? Hinata was unconscious.

He cried, and he cried until he was almost screaming. He sounded like a young child having a tantrum as he let his head fall onto the side of the cot. He was hyperventilating, crying out and yelling to himself. 

Minutes of crying passed, and eventually, the screaming stopped. He was baffled that no one had heard or cared to come in, but he was thankful that no one was there to see him cry. “I’m in love with you, you fucking dumbass.” His voice was but a broken whisper.

Or so he thought.

“Stupid Kageyama..” a raspy, quiet and cracked voice sounded from above the raven-haired male. He felt a hand give a weak push to his head, causing him to slowly look up with wide and bloodshot eyes.

Hinata’s eyes were fluttered open in slits as they were staring at Kageyama from the very corner. It was like they weren’t even open, but they were. His voice was broken and his lips were chapped and dry.

“W-Why am I s-stupid?! You're stupid!” The sobbing started all over again as he stood up and threw his arms around the small boy, using one hand to prop his head up as he could hardly hold it up himself, and the other to help support his back. He cried into Hinata’s neck, leaving a wet patch on the shoulder of the thin hospital robe he wore. Hinata weakly lifted his arms and wrapped them around Kageyama’s broad body, attempting to squeeze him as tightly as Kageyama squeezed him, but it was impossible with the lack of strength he possessed at this point in time. Hinata dropped his arms, and could hardly lift his arms up to take off his oxygen mask.

“And here I am, on my death bed with acute Leukaemia. You’re right, I AM stupid.” Hinata scoffed to himself quietly under a pathetic and breathy laugh, a single tear droplet rolling down his hot cheek. Kageyama heard him, pulling away from the hug as he stared at Shouyou, who now had a minuscule smile on his face, his eyes on the verge of closing again because he physically couldn’t keep them open.

“No fucking way,” Kageyama breathed, the sound of his heartbeat moved to his ears once again, and he felt dizzy, “y-you don’t have Leukaemia!” He screamed, and Hinata clenched his eyes shut at the sound, jumping in Tobio’s arms. Were these tears ever going to stop?

“I do—“

“No, you don’t.”

“Kageyama—“

“Don’t fucking ‘Kageyama’ me! You do NOT have Leukaemia!“ The scream tore through his throat as his eyes became even more bloodshot with the welled up, salty tears.

Deep down, he very much knew that Hinata had Leukaemia, and his heart was shattered and splintered, and somehow he managed to remain quiet. All his emotions drained from him. He was all cried out, and this was just the cherry on top of everything. He felt like a zombie, now.

Hinata gave up, unable to argue with him anymore. He looked off to the side, avoiding eye contact with his partner for a few moments as Kageyama’s eyes shot bullets into the side of his face.

The silence was broken when Shouyou took the opportunity to speak once more. 

“Could you get me a cup of water?” He asked huskily, and Kageyama frowned deeply before slowly standing up to grab the plastic cup from beside his bed, filling it up with cool water from the cooler in the room and handing it to Hinata’s small held out hand. 

As soon as the cup was given to him, his hand began to quiver just like Kageyama’s had prior. The water was just about to overflow over the sides of the cup with the amount of wobbling. Hinata glared at his hand, determined to get himself to stop shaking and work up the strength to lift it to his mouth, but his hand had a small spasm, resulting in him squeezing the cup and having some water fall onto the sheet beneath, wetting it. 

Kageyama shot his arm out, covering Hinata’s small hand with both of his own, steadying the shaking. Hinata looked up at him, eventually a frown settling over his features as they stared at each other, his bottom lip quivering and his chin curling, eyes squinting ever so slightly as they glossed over. He looked exactly like his sister. He was going to cry. Kageyama couldn’t let that happen.

Tobio took the cup out of his hands, shuffling closer to him and lifting it up to Shouyou’s mouth, signalling him that he would help him take a drink. It was so eerily quiet.

The cup was held up to his mouth and slightly tilted back. Hinata took small sips from it, and when he was done, Kageyama brought the cup back down to hold in his lap, watching him intently. He licked his lips, and Kageyama noticed the colour come back extremely faintly. They were still grey, but they were damp now, so there was the faintest tinge of pink to them, and he was abruptly mesmerised with the movement of Hinata’s lips, and the faint colour that returned.

He began to lean forward, dropping the cup onto the ground as the remaining water spilled out of it onto the floor. He brought his hand up and spread it out across Hinata’s cheek, caressing it as his thumb slowly rubbed underneath his eye and wiped away the leftover moisture from his crying. Hinata had zero objection, sighing deeply and leaning into his delicate touch. He was so weak.

He used his other arm to prop his weight onto the wall behind the cot, leaning in even closer and brushing his lips over Hinata’s. Hinata inhaled sharply, and Kageyama stilled, hesitating in case Hinata didn’t want this. 

To his utter surprise, Hinata jerked forward slowly, pressing their lips together, another single tear rolling down his cheek. Shouyou knows he is not going to live for very long now, and he’s counting down the days he has. 

Their lips moved together so gently, and Kageyama wanted to bawl his eyes out all over again. He caressed Hinata’s face as if it was made of glass. It hit him, finally. This is all he’s ever wanted.

Hinata started sobbing into the kiss, a single tear turning into many as he was forced to pull away. Kageyama’s eyes widened in worry, and his eyes darted over Shouyou’s face. He sniffed and wiped away the tears from his own eyes feverishly before running his hand gently through Hinata’s dry hair, examining his face.

“What’s wrong!?” He panicked, moving even closer to him as he cried into his hands.

“I-I—“ he broke down completely, just like Kageyama did.

“Hinata!” Tobio screamed in worry when the monitor starting beeping erratically, signalling that Hinata’s heart was beating incredibly fast, too fast that he might collapse.

“I’ve fallen in love with you, stupid Kageyama!” He screamed, his voice cracking as he sobbed in physical and emotional agony. “I’m about to die and I let myself fall in love with you!” 

Kageyama had no time to process Hinata’s confession. He was going to faint if he didn’t calm down.

He grasped Hinata’s shoulders, screaming and crying with him in worry. 

“You have to calm down, Hinata! You won’t die! You won’t leave me—!”

Suddenly, a blaring alarm sounded, and moments later, multiple doctors and nurses came rushing in with clipboards and emergency equipment. 

“Leave!” A young nurse screamed at Kageyama and violently grabbed his arm, forcefully lifting him up off the edge of the cot and pushing him out the door as he struggled against her. Hinata wailed when he saw that Kageyama was being pushed out of the door.

“Stop!” He kicked and struggling in the doctor’s grip. The doctor took out another mask that was connected to a small tank, slamming it onto his face and forcing him to breathe the gas in. It was sleeping gas.

Hinata’s screaming slowed down as his breathing began to steady and his eyes began to flutter closed almost immediately. 

“Shouyou—!” Kageyama’s scream was cut off when the large door was slammed close right in his face. He backed away from the door and fell back onto the wall, covering his face with his hands as he slid down the white wall in utter defeat.


End file.
